…Dr. Vargas had referred us to a group out of St.Luke’s Presbyterian Hospital in Denver, CO. We had an appointment at 2pm and they encouraged you to be early to register at the hospital. We went and arrived early, filled out all the paperwork and showed up for the ultrasound promptly at 2pm. It was a strange waiting area in the hospital. There was a narrow area with 6 chairs and two end tables with magazines. There was no front desk or anyone to greet. We took a seat as instructed.
Initially, it sounded like there was an ultrasound in progress that they were finishing up. Then, we saw a pregnant lady leave. Okay, well…maybe they are just running a bit behind. It was 2:20pm. Still no greeting from anyone to acknowledge that we were out in the waiting room. Then, a man walked in the entrance and went straight back to the room. He began talking with the ultrasound technician. They were talking about the ultrasound equipment and other surface topics…just seemed like chit-chat. Meanwhile, the clock was ticking away. Didn’t they realize that we were waiting and that it was way past our appointment time? Also, that this was a tough situation…and that they were not making it any easier?
Finally at 2:45pm, the ultrasound technician came out to get us for the ultrasound. The man that was talking to her stayed in the room – – he did not ask if it was okay. He just assumed a seat. At this point, I was very upset. I was mad that we had been waiting and that he had been chit-chatting with her. Also, that he did not ask if he could stay in the room. I gave “the look” to Josh, so he could address the situation.
Sure enough, Josh addressed it and the sales rep for the ultrasound equipment left the room. Then, Josh expressed frustration to the ultrasound technician for the tardiness and the lack of communication with us while in the waiting room.
The technician went through and took all the photos and measurements. Then, she called Dr. Adelburg into the room. This was the specialist who would confirm the diagnosis. Yes, she did confirm the diagnosis and then went on to describe a bleak and grim view of the future for our baby. She emphasized that we needed an amniocentesis and that we only had a few weeks to make a final decision. She made the assumption that we were considering termination and seemed to focus her efforts on painting a sad circumstance where termination might seem like a favorable possibility.
I was in such a fog. Next thing I know, there is this LONG needle poking through my belly and uterus, drawing amniotic fluid. It was the longest 30 seconds ever. I squeezed Josh’s hand hard…it was very uncomfortable and made me cramp up. They had the ultrasound machine on the entire time, so they could make sure that it did not interfere with the baby. When it was finished, they scanned over to the baby. She looked completely at peace…she was laying on her side in the fetal position with her hands folded under her head. She looked like she was taking a nap…not even bothered by the entire procedure.
After seeing our baby girl via ultrasound and listening to the grim news, we left feeling sad and deflated. That was when I started to cry and cry hard. The reality of the situation was hitting me. Plus, the entire experience there was not positive. All they did was try to push termination and give us a negative prognosis with zero chance for any hope.
We came home and made some phone calls to family. It was all such a blur. We were so happy and elated just 3 days ago, when we found out we were having a girl. Now, it just felt like the sky was caving in on us. Such a high and now such a low. God, what is your plan? We know that you allow us to go through situations to stretch us and make us grow. But, what was this about?
