Posted (Tina) in All Posts on April-30-2009

Ella’s day started off well, but she did seem fussy on and off. I was especially surprised when it came time for physical therapy. Normally, she has such a great time. Yet, half of the session was her melting down. I guess she was just not in the mood to do any work. Fortunately, we were able to distract her enough to get some work accomplished, but it was a challenge!

Unfortunately, the main event of the day was not related specifically to Ella. As if the last few weeks were not already tough enough, there was more going on in our lives than we could publicly share on the blog.

We were having some problems with our live-in nanny that takes care of Ella. We’ve had ongoing problems and challenges through the past 7 months and it has been especially challenging since it is a live-in situation.

Things started to get strange and led us to be suspicious right around the same time that we got the news that the baby had a lethal birth defect. We were asking the Lord for guidance and direction. Obviously, we felt led to invite this person into our home last fall, giving her the huge job of taking care of our miracle baby girl. We thought that we shared a common unity in Christ. Keep in mind that this is someone who made a point on the first day of the job to let us know that she was a sweet, innocent Christ-follower that had never even kissed a boy. Apparently, we didn’t know our nanny at all and it took us this long to figure it out.

I think just describing the day’s events this past Tuesday will give you a sense of what had been going on. She was aware that we had to go to the hospital to deliver our son, yet she was out all night and returned at 4:15am to go to sleep. The prior evening, she offered to start early at 7am, but I ended up having to wake her since she was so sleep deprived. When we were at the hospital and she was being paid to care for Ella, she spent several hours on the internet, searching sites and having conversations with individuals that were highly inappropriate, explicit and immoral in nature. Upon arrival at home after a long day at the hospital, she expressed that her Dad was going into surgery the next morning. Considering all that was going on, we let her take the day off. During Wednesday, we also decided to look in her room to see if there was anything else that was concerning. That just led to more disappointment – we found things in her room that did not belong to her that she conveniently decided to place in her room to use, without our knowledge.

When confronted this morning with all the evidence, she did not deny any of it. She took it in and cried while we explained, in the most loving way possible, that we needed to end our relationship. Once she began to pack her belongings, she became indifferent and ended up just leaving and saying, “bye” and quickly walked away. She explained that she thought she could portray herself as someone she would like to be and if placed in a good home, she could change. In other words, she admitted that it has all been a lie.

It hurts so much to be deceived in this way, under the banner of Christianity. She portrayed herself as someone that she clearly was not. We cannot believe the things that were revealed over the last few weeks, but most especially, even from this past Tuesday while we were going through something so heavy.

Besides all of the drama, there must be a reason this young girl of 19 years of age was brought into our home for these past months. I’m not sure if we’ll ever understand the Lord’s plans, but there must be some purpose for her being here. We’re just hoping that she learns from this chapter of life and that she draws near to God, working on repairing her clearly damaged heart. Please offer up a prayer for her.

As far as our plans, we will continue to seek Him for guidance and direction on next steps. Until then, Mom is enjoying some good quality time with her little Bun. She is such a sweet child and we are so thankful to have her in our lives.

Fran Jarrett on April 30th, 2009 at 9:47 pm #

Josh and Tina, what a disappointment to hear this side of someone you brought into your home and trusted to care for sweet Ella. Praying that you will find someone who can help care for your precious girl.
Love the photos of Ella with her computer! One will pop up and I say to myself, “that is my favorite.” Of course, then the next one comes up and that will be my favorite!
Love you guys and although I do not post often you are in my thoughts always. Fran

whitney on May 1st, 2009 at 4:31 am #

im sorry that your situation for ella care wanst what it was thought to be…i hope that some day you are shown the direction and why this was brought into your life, i do thank god that ella never hurt or neglected she has endured way too much to have anyone be other than kind to her. i did want to comment your your son and his birth. i am very sorry for the loss of your son. i am very amazed by his footfrints, which we know although so very small have left a huge print on this world. i pray that you guys getsome well deserved rest and peace and maybe a break in testing your faith, i think you guys have passed by now!

Chambers Family on May 1st, 2009 at 7:11 am #

Finding the right Nanny is so tough! – I hope as you rest and heal that you are able to find the right situation for your family. When I decide to post it seems like I have good words then I start typing and it all goes away. So, I am just going to take a moment and pray for you now and let God do the rest.

megan on May 1st, 2009 at 7:19 am #

I am so sorry and frustrated that someone could come into you lives and add more pain and dissapointment to you. I think God needs to give the West family a break! =) In all seriousness I am here as always if you need anything my babysitting services are free! All four of you are in my prayers and thoughts and please know that everyone on here loves you and is supporting you! Hugs~

Melissa on May 1st, 2009 at 7:40 am #

Josh and Tina-
I can’t hold back anymore. I have been following your blog and not commenting. I guess… I just don’t/didn’t know what to say.
I have been thinking about you and praying for you since you told me that you were pregnant with Ella.
I really can’t believe everything that you have been through.
My heart breaks for all of the pain you have had to endure…first with Ella, then your son and now your nanny. Those are the big things and there have been other things too. Yet you remain steadfast and strong.
I especially feel sad with the news of your son who is now in heaven with no more suffering or pain. What a beautiful tribute, Josh. The footprints…although they are so tiny they sure leave a huge print in my mind.
Thank you for sharing your lives with everyone.
You are truely an inspiration. You have touched so many lives and you may not know the reason or the plan for any of this but I can tell you… it is BIG!! You are amazing parents and your faith is great. What awesome role models you are for everyone that you come in contact with.
I am so, so sorry for your loss but I rejoice in what a beautiful and sweet life you have in Ella.
I just can not believe everything that you have just had to go through with your nanny. That is just horrible. She obviously is hurting herself and was when you met her. Don’t think for one minute that you didn’t impact her life. You may be the best thing that ever happened to her.
I pray that you will be able to get some rest, physically and emotionally.
You are AMAZING!!
I would love to meet and catch up sometime. Let me know when YOU are up to it.
Please give me a call.
I know that I have been in the background but I’m here whatever you need.
We really need to get together.
I love you guys!! I’m sorry… sorry for everything that you have been through and sorry that I have been silent.

Eve Johnson on May 1st, 2009 at 8:17 am #

I can’t help but think that the Lord has a VERY special place in his Kingdom set aside for the West family.

Dawn Franck on May 1st, 2009 at 10:12 am #

Tina and Josh-
I’m sorry to hear the news about your nanny. I’m just thankful that you found out before anything bad happened. On another note, I LOVE the photos of Ella with the laptop. Is she a baby West in the making or what??? Too cute!
Lots of Love, Dawn

Corie O'Brien on May 1st, 2009 at 11:42 am #

What an emotional week for you all. I can not begin to understand all the things going on. Praying for you all.

Dawn from CHERUBS on May 1st, 2009 at 2:36 pm #

Wow. I haven’t been to your blog in a while and thought I’d check in and all I can say is Wow. Bless your hearts!!! I am so very very sorry to read about all the things you’ve been through this week!! As very devout Christian myself, I know it’s heartbreaking to be fooled by people who “talk the talk, but don’t walk the walk”… especially when you trust them with the most important thing in your life – Ella. On top of being so cold and indifferent to the loss of your son.

There is a reason for all of it… God has a plan. In His time.

In the meantime, you are all in my prayers!!!


Barbara Mullins on May 1st, 2009 at 3:29 pm #

Josh, Tina and Ella: I haven’t had a chance to check in for the past several days, so I am just now finding out about the loss of your baby boy. My heart aches for you. It is amazing to me (although I shouldn’t be surprised) that even though I wasn’t able to visit your website, you were all heavy on my heart and the Lord had me praying for you frequently on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. We have a little one waiting for us in heaven too. I will be praying for you. Also, so sorry things didn’t work out with your nanny – I know God will use the time she spent with you as a witness in her life.

Bless you all!


loren lizotte on May 1st, 2009 at 7:30 pm #

Tina as for the nanny, I can only imagine that she has to be feeling a little disappointed on herself. It’s not an easy job taking care of a child much less a child with the needs of Ella and at the same time be a young person with all the things that go on in their head. I hope that she can learn from this experience.
God Bless you

Joel Snyder on May 2nd, 2009 at 12:55 pm #

Ella, I am sorry to hear that the nanny wasn’t who we thought she was. But I am happy that the situation is behind us and we can look forward to new progress. Sorry you had kind of and up and down day. Catch you later. Love,Grandpa!!!!!!!!!!

Debbie Thomley on May 5th, 2009 at 12:24 pm #

We don’t always understand life. Tina you and Josh were placed in your Nannys life as an example of what a Christian family functions like. You were Christ with skin to her. There is no doubt that somewhere in her life your impression will be manifested to her. Josh the poem you wrote to your son was beautiful. How great it is you can put your feelings into words. Thank you so much for the footprints. You shared a little of his life with us. Gods Blessings on your family.

Kara on May 17th, 2009 at 12:56 pm #

I’ve been busy and have missed a few blogs. Ginny let me know things were afoot and so I went back to find this post. That SUCKS!!! I always did think she was weird. That opinion was based on the comments she would post. They seemed very self involved. I just chalked it up to her being young and figured you knew her better than I could. I see now that is was all part of trying to create the image. Some people are so bizarre. Well if nothing else, you got a bit of a break and a chance to bring in some extra money for a while. Sometimes all you need is a few months off in order to reboot and be able to get back to the grind again. And this trip will be nice for you. My best friend always says you need to get at least 60 miles away from your problems in order to deal with them appropriately again. 60+ should do you some good. Some Ginny love and a bit of beach time should heal what ails ya.

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