Posted (jooosh) in All Posts on October-19-2007

First off, if you didn’t get a chance to see yesterday’s post, you’ll want to do so. There’s a video there of Tina holding Ella for the first time, and some pictures of me and my girl as well.

Let me take this moment to clarify what Tina said about us being “more emotional” yesterday =). Being the crazy emotional ball-baby that I am, I fully expected to cry my eyes out when I was able to hold Ella for the first time on Wednesday night. To my surprise, I didn’t. I think the moment was just so shocking, that the tears did not flow.

If I am totally honest, I still can’t believe that she’s my baby…MY BABY! What…huh??? That’s my kid I’m holding…no…wait…but…we tried for five years to have a baby and we weren’t able to, and now there’s this baby in the NICU and……what??? MY BABY!

It still hasn’t hit me. Which I think also tempered the tears.

Now, yesterday, after putting together the video, and Tina and I watched it the first time, WE BALLED OUR EYES OUT!!!! To come through all this and have that moment of indescribable joy was just so overwhelming. I think we just needed some time to take it in.

We keep watching the video and are just amazed how blessed we are to have come through to this point. There is no way to silence our Praise of our Heavenly Father for this journey…the WHOLE journey.

So, how is Ella doing today. She is doing GREAT!

The last couple days she had seemed to be a bit more fussy, even before and during the time we held her on Wednesday. Yesterday evening, her blood gas didn’t look that good either. Her blood was drawn right after she was upset, but I didn’t know what to really think of the numbers.

Well this morning, nurse Andrea let us know that her last blood gas was fabulous: pH=7.41, cO2=49, pO2=122. With those numbers, they weened her vent down to 10 breaths per minute! This is so good. If our baby girl takes 60 breaths per minute, 50 of those are on her own!

Every day is another day closer to her being extubated (breathing tube removed). I bet it happens sometime next week, but we’re content to wait on His perfect timing. She won’t be totally ventilator free once this happens, but she will have graduated to CPAP, a form of ventilation by forcing air through the nose.

Her feeds have also been bumped up to 20ccs per hour, and her output of those feeds have increased as well ;-).

They’re not going to ween any of her sedation meds over the weekend, but her Octreotide will probably be DC’d (discontinued). This is the medication that helped with Ella’s chylothorax (chest fluid issue).

Praising God for today and resting in His peace.

Psalm 37:3-4
3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Loren L. on October 19th, 2007 at 10:56 am #

Big Daddy! That’s your baby! I will continue praying for continued progress and more baby holding, burping, changing big stinky diapers.
God Speed.

Grandpa Jack on October 19th, 2007 at 11:08 am #


She’s headed for a touchdown and we are all seeing it happen.

Continued Prayers!!!!

Love to all

Raewyn on October 19th, 2007 at 11:22 am #

Hi there

You don’t know me. I received an email from a friend of a friend over a month ago and have been following your progress. My daughter was in nicu for 4 days and then at the age of 7 had heart surgery and I thought that was stressful and emotionally draining. What you guys are doing is amazing. Your strength is incredible and an inspiration to all of us. I can’t wait for the post “Going Home”.

Veronica on October 19th, 2007 at 11:23 am #

Sophia and I watched the video of Tina holding Ella. She fell asleep, but I cried for both of us. : ) Didn’t it just feel right? So astounding…

Heidi Ham on October 19th, 2007 at 11:33 am #

Josh and Tina thank you 😉 So So happy for your family.

Joan and Steve Odell on October 19th, 2007 at 1:45 pm #

What incredible joy for the two of you and Ella as well!!! There may be steps to take and hills to climb but always joy in the moment of complete peace and love!! I thank God every day for the three of you as you let us share in this beautiful journey of faith and life. Our lives have definitely been enriched!!! We pray for continued strength and steps forward and a peaceful weekend full of ‘holding’! Lord Bless – hugs Steve and Joan

Roxie on October 19th, 2007 at 2:36 pm #

Josh & Tina, I have just returned from a 3 day trip and could not go to bed until I checked on you guys. I had been praying for progress but OH MY the progress Ella has made has just taken my breath away!!! I sat here crying from day 86 and caught up to now. Baby Ella just couldn’t take her eyes off you Tina until she fell asleep. It was so wonderful of you guys to share this most intimate time with all the world. Ella falling asleep in Mommy’s arms may ver well have been the most healing sleep Little Ella has had. I’m sure that it soothed and has begun to heal your aching hearts. You will experience it more and more each time you hold her. Praise His Holy Name!!

Char Snyder Jordan on October 19th, 2007 at 2:39 pm #

Well, I’ve balled my eyes out over all the comments and joy expressed by all those who love YOUR little girl. How different the world is when a baby is born. Soon Ella will be born again. We are praying for wonderful progress and great statistics that will allow her to breathe on her own. We are so happy for you and definitely proud of your spiritual progress as you become the best parents. All our love, Jim and Char

Roxie on October 19th, 2007 at 3:17 pm #

Of course I had to go back and see all three days again…before going to bed..Tina you are the very essence of a loving mother. Josh the look in your eyes when you held Ella spoke volumes of gratitude and delight at the gift our Father in Heaven has given you. In the middle east children call their fathers Babbah, much like Abbah (sp?)in the Bible. You Josh are Ella’s Abbah, her daddy, her protector and provider. God Bless You both as you coutinue this journey. And thank you Father for this most Precious Ella and the way You have touched so many through her struggle. Little Ella has made big foot prints on all our hearts.

Kelsey Rupert on October 19th, 2007 at 3:24 pm #

Congratulations, you guys! I’m so happy for you all. 🙂

Laura Sizelove on October 19th, 2007 at 4:18 pm #

Josh & Tina–
Just saw yesterday’s video and cried all the way through it. What a blessing to be able to hold her for the first time. It’s so amazing to see the strength that the Lord has given you to make it through each day and the little victories along the way. We’re continuing to pray for complete healing for Ella and that you will soon be able to hold her in your arms for as long as you want! 🙂

Julie on October 19th, 2007 at 4:31 pm #

There are days when I look at my son (now 2.5), and I’m still amazed that God gave him to me.

For people who’ve had a hard road to parenthood, I’m not sure that sense of awe ever goes away.

What a good God we have!

jan Costas on October 19th, 2007 at 6:07 pm #

Have just read yesterday and today– We’re blown away and drowning in tears. What a special gift you’ve shared with us. Thank you. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. jan and Mike

monika clark on October 19th, 2007 at 9:01 pm #

wow, fifty breaths out of sixty, and how you make us mindful and praiseful dears ella, tina, josh, how each breathing moment is from GOD like all good things from HIM above, may HE forgive us for taking in stride at best and for granted at worst. let our breaths be our prayers. we love you. GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU. xomonikaxo and family and friends

Joel Snyder on October 19th, 2007 at 9:21 pm #

Ella, You keep up the good strides forward “Gator Girl”. Grandpa is so thrilled to see those baby steps keep coming. I am praying that you can soon start to breath on your own and keep getting held by your Mom and Dad. All my Love, Grandpa!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pat & Bob Hadden on October 19th, 2007 at 10:10 pm #

Love’s always a bumpy ride. Of course, you’ve been on the E-ticket version with Ella. Glad you’re coasting now. We love you and are thinking of you.

Kelli Billman on October 20th, 2007 at 9:14 am #

Josh, I know what you mean by crying after watching the video again. I just showed it to Mark and therefore watched it myself for the 3rd time, can’t say I cry any less with each time I see it! Please pass a tissue again! We love you!

Bethany Saul on October 27th, 2007 at 10:10 am #

I balled my eyes out too! I haven’t posted in a long time but i check up on Ella regularly. She is such a gift. She has blessed my life immensely and I’ve never even met her! Thanks for sharing her life and your lives with me!
I’m praying for you both and for sweet Ella, and thanking God for His faithfulness!
Much love,

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